Originality is a fiction...

...but we enjoy being lied to.  Oooo...first sentence into the blog and I'm already breaking grammatical rules.  That is a fantastic way to start a blog that is being started to improve my writing skills.  Perfect.  Wouldn't have it any other way.  Let's break all the rules.  Speak in Yoda, I might.  Though that's way to annoying to sustain for any length of time.

Welcome.  Don't be shy.  It's my first time here too.  I feel a short introduction is appropriate.  *ugh*  Sorry.  It's like trying to write an introduction or the beginning of a story.  The vast gulf of emptiness in front of me results in an absolute dread of being able to produce anything of meaning, worth, or even entertainment.  Confidence?  Low.  Hope?  High.  Expectation?  Somewhere in the middle.  To be determined.


Ground rules:  I will update this weekly with some new content by every Friday.  No holidays.  It might show up a day or two early, but by Friday there will always be something new.  Dear readers (once I eventually have some) I'm going to treat this as a weekly column where I bring to your attention something I value.  It might be a personal rant.  It might be an interesting news story.  It might be a random thing that struck me as worth sharing.  It might be a story.  Story time is always fun.  The one thing I promise you is that I will tell you the truth.  Really.  Trust me.  I'll be telling you the truth the way only an anonymous blogger can tell the truth.

Fearlessly. 

I'm going to say controversial things. (Israel and Palestine.  I don't even need to say any more.  Simply bringing it up makes people start hissing and spitting like a sack full of tomcats.) 

I'm going to swear.  (Fuck, shit, piss, bollucks, cock, cunt, bitch, bastard, mother fucking clit licking father fucking, wanker, cum gargling ass muncher.  One day I do aspire to compile a list of every single offensive word in the greater English language.  This will be a post eventually, I'm sure.)

I'm going to say things that will offend some of you.  (See above.  Take your pick.)

I'm going to occasionally get up on my soapbox, scream incoherently, gibbering like a comedic youtube video of your drunk Uncle Charlie on Thanksgiving, then pass out in a pool of my own mangled alphabet soup.  (See entire post.  No?  Not like a comedic youtube video?  Oh well.  Give me a break.  First time and all.  I've not yet mastered Uncle Charlie's drunken gibbering.)


It will be just as good a time waster as stalking your friends on facebook hoping someone posted something new for you to kill another dull moment of life in front of your computer.  I guarantee it.

Welcome to my world.